Welcome to my blog of signs and synchronicities. Zach has shown us from day three of his passing that he is still right here with us. We want to share with you what has and continues to happen in our lives after his passing. I have logged the events and signs from each day, as they happened, that we receive from Zach. Our quest is to give others reassurance, hope, trust and faith that our loved ones are always by our side, guiding and showing us they never leave and to also know and accept that it is our loved ones who are communicating with us. Our job, while we are here, is to trust and know it is them and by doing so, it changes everything. Well, it sure has for us. All my love to each and every one of you reading this and I hope that it gives you comfort knowing that our loved ones are still right here. Love Krista x
Day 3: 20th April, 2019 (Race Mode)
April 17th was when our lives froze. Zach, our reason for living, our hearts, our only son was killed in a horrific single-car accident that afternoon. We had been inserted into a nightmare from which we couldn't awaken. It wasn't possible. Not our boy! Not our beautiful boy! The phone call, the drive to the hospital where I met my husband, Martin, who had arrived ahead of me, talking with medical staff and police officers, it was all a fog, a haze, a blur. It couldn't be real. We left the hospital together in shocked silence, holding each other up, reading each other's thoughts, grabbing on to the other - knowing our life as we knew it had ended. When we got home, the house was dark and cold. The walls were closing in around us. We couldn’t breathe. We died with our Zach that day.
The first two days we were living in hell. Literally surrounded by darkness and hopelessness. There was no reason to go on. The house swallowed us and we were buried, dead - yet still breathing.
On the 19th my mom arrived from the U.S. The usual long hugs, happy tears, and non-stop chattering to catch up on everything was replaced this time with stark sadness as we fell into each other's arms - trying to find some safety and comfort in our grief. The ride home from the airport was much quieter than normal, but in that quietness there was "connection". After unloading her suitcases, we had a strong desire to go to the crash site. We couldn't understand why, but there was an indescribable urge - no, a feeling that we had no choice! We were being pulled - we absolutely had to go and we found that the REASON was there, waiting for us! Now, to be able to share the next part about the crash site, let me paint a mental picture. Imagine a lovely, two-lane winding country road with shrubs, wildflowers, and occasional trees lining the sides - and watch while it calmly meanders for miles through the English countryside. You know, it's the kind of road that's richly picturesque and perfect for a leisurely Sunday afternoon drive.
As we rounded one of the corners, we saw it. It was beautiful, and then it wasn't. We pulled our car off the road and parked on the soft, grassy edge. A few of Zach’s close friends were standing, arms around each other, or walking around silently - some of whom had brought flowers, others notes, and still others pictures, trinkets, mementos all of which were laid around or tucked safely into the lone tree at the crash site. We approached and were tearfully greeted with hugs. Trying to connect with what happened three days earlier, I silently stood- struggling to open my mind and heart. I was trying to feel what happened to my son. And you know what? Instead of connecting with the tragedy, Zach's spirit filled me. I know, I know ... that sounds like a crazy, bereaved mom who has lost it. And if I hadn't experienced it myself, I wouldn't believe it. But it's true! For the first time in three days - I felt him. He was there! Zach was there waiting. Waiting for us to come. Walking back to the car, I started to explain the feeling I got (my new connection) to Martin and mom. But before I could finish telling them my feelings - it was crazy!! They said they felt the exact same thing! We all had that same experience! Zach spoke to each of us there under that tree. His voice, although not audible, loudly told us he was still here! It was clear as day!
Perceptions changed and our eyes were opened to a different reality. One we would never have believed if we hadn't each experienced it separately that afternoon, and we were about to take Zach home with us!
As soon as we got in the car, Martin turned it on (our car has several driving modes and Zach naturally always drove it in RACE mode which changes how the dynamic of the car drives. One feature is the exhaust valves that when open, makes the car louder.) It was set in normal mode but the exhaust valves were open which is impossible for the car to do. Martin said he could feel Zach in the driver seat, over his own body. It was as if his legs and hands were over the top of Martin’s and Zach drove us home. When we walked back into the house, it felt normal. He was with us once again and made sure he let us know.
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